What questions to ask at the first meeting in an arranged marriage?

When your family starts showing you pictures of potential matches and your marriage becomes the only topic of discussion, it is obvious to get nervous as well as excited with the thought of leaving own privacy and comfort to share with someone else who is completely unknown to you.

You meet those probable matches that have come from various sources like friends, families, online matrimonial sites or more. Nowadays matrimonial sites are becoming a convenient option for choosing the perfect life partner, because here you can get more options to choose first and then decide according to your preferences.

That’s why we, kamma matrimony sites, which is a Telugu kamma marriage bureau are here to match up kamma brideswith kamma grooms. Here we give importance to the choice and expectations of each and everykamma bride and kamma groom. You can believe on us for deciding the most important and crucial decision of your life.

It is fact that your family would have crosschecked at their ends before taking up the proposal to you by taking all the relevant informations from the kamma matrimony sites. They would have ensured that the family is suitable own social standards, the kamma groom is well educated and professionally settled and other various criteria which can be mapped at a superficial level. But marriage is not just social, financial and educational equality, it is a saga of love, togetherness and commitment. There are a lot many things to build a happy and successful marriage, which can’t be evaluated by family.

There are a lot of questions you want to ask your would be. Those questions might seem too direct, personal and so you just keep asking them in your mind and look for descent ways to say them out loud. So, here we are trying to get those questions for you, which can match your expectations.

1)      Remember to read the biodata two or three times before meeting your kaama partner.

The bio-data of the kamma bride or kamma groom provide some ideas about her/him. It would help you to know that person in a better way, also give you some details about her/his likes and dislikes.

2)      It is okay for you or the other person to be nervous. calm down and smile.

 Make the other person feel comfortable with you. Ask some simple questions. Internally you may feel like you are appearing for an exam and you might feel the anxiety because of nervousness. But act like a mechanical device. Behave at ease. Don’t make the other individual feel like you are just present physically, but not mentally. 

3)      What are your expectations from your partner?

It is always good to know the expectations of the kamma groom or kamma bride and making your expectations clear at an initial level, which helps you to prepare for the future. Furthermore, this topic may surprise you with some awkward expectations that your prospective partner (kamma bride or groom) might have which you may not able to fulfill it. So, having clear about such things will avoid any future clashes.

4)      What are your hobbies and interests?

Although it is a common question, it is really important. A lot can be inferred from the reply you receive from your potential partner. An individual having completely opposite interest than yours could be very difficult to live with. for example, if a kamma groom is a social person, love to travel but the potential kamma groom is an introvert type of person, loves to confine in himself or with his family, then there could be a big conflict when you are together.

5)      Respect his/her parents.

This may depend on traditions you are bringing up. For every bride or groom, their parents are so much importance to them. That’s why if you can give that much respect, then you can also expect the same from your potential partner. It is just the mindset, what and how you behave with your elders. 

6)      Both kamma groom and kamma bride should try to understand how each of them adapts to changing scenarios in marriage.

Both partners should understand their responsibilities. Its never can be successful because of one person. Both, the kaama bride as well as kamma groom should discuss what they expect from others with regards to responsibilities towards families. They should discuss if they have any specific preferences.

7)      Ask him/her if the kamma bride or kamma groom really wants to do an arranged marriage or prefers a love marriage.

It happens, both the kamma bride or kamma grooms may be going on pressure from the family to meet the potential partners. Make the other person comfortable so that he/ she can open up and can share their preferences, desire. What they actually want.

8)      What are your future goals and plan?

This is really a very relevant question, from both partner’s perspective. It is important for a kamma groom to know the future plans of the kamma bride as it is very much important for a woman to know about her man. The woman, who is highly ambitious and carrier oriented will never to sacrifice her carrier for marriage. Definitely, it needs an understanding. Maybe in the Indian scenario, to get this type of mindset is difficult, but we, kamma matrimony sites definitely help you in this regard.

9)      Discuss how much each of you earns.

It is also important to discuss each of your earnings. Because both the partners should have a clear idea about the financial status so that both can plan for the future accordingly. It does not mean that your relationship with your partner is a business deal. Also, it is very much important that both should be comfortable talking about finances to each other frankly. 

10)    Never ask a potential partner about his/her past relationships.

Neither the bride or groom want to feel comfortable to speak about the past. It should come out of each person’s ease or comfort in talking about this past thing. Do not force your partner to answers. So, both kamma grooms, as well as kamma bride, should be cautious.

11)    Be clear if you expect from your partner to do a few duties.

Let’s take an example if you have grandparents who are very old and parents had been operated twice for all their health issues and you wanted the support of your partner to take care of them, do mention it frankly. This means a lot to both kamma groom and kamma bride because both want to do the best for their parents.

12)    Discuss religious faith if it matters in the marriage life.

13)    Tell whether the other prefers a nuclear family or a joint family.

Since most of the Indian women are expected by tradition to move to the home of their spouse, it would be an ideal one to share what each of you prefers – nuclear or joint. According to the preferences, you can easily decide your comfortability with each other.

14)    Are you ready to accept responsibility for both families?

In our Indian tradition kamma brides are anyhow expected to take up the responsibilities of the in-law’s family, but whether the kamma groom is also willing to take his responsibilities towards his in-law’sfamily. Or is he the same thinking, orthodox type of person who believes that his wife should take the responsibilities of his parents whereas a son in law he would have no responsibility at all towards his in-laws i.e, his wife parents only not him. This will give you a general idea about your partner’s thinking and morality which is a major influencer of your decision.

15)    How do you fantasize your relationship with your kamma partner?

This is essential to get each other’s perspective about the relationship as a couple. Whether you like to have a friend in life partner with whom you can be yourself and open up your heart without any hesitation and fear. Although it seems to be an idealistic image the answer can tell you a lot about their mindset as well as behaviour.

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