What are right and wrong things to do during a conflict with your partner?

Arguing is not necessarily so bad sign, but there are healthy and unhealthy ways to handle the conflict. You must be aware that what are you saying and to whom you are saying. Maybe you are not intentionally trying to hurt your partner, just slip out wrong words because of frustration, but keep in mind that you may lose the most valuable thing in your life because of your words.

How we can handle the conflict smoothly will greatly impact the health and strength of your marriage. That’s why kamma matrimony, which is a Telugu kamma marriage bureau try to find out some right and wrong ways to do it for kamma brides and kamma grooms. It has been finding that before marriage the level of understanding was much better in between kamma brides and kamma grooms, but later the kamma matches couldn’t handle their relationship in a healthy way. Many arguments, conflicts arise in between them finally ruin their relationship because they don’t know how to navigate the arguments. By seeing the conflicts between the kamma brides and kamma grooms, we find out some right and wrong things you should keep in mind when arguing with your partner.

Right things:

1. Harmony

Setting harmony between two partners means you understand each other. When intimate partners intuitively attached to each other’s heart, mind, and soul, they can understand how their behaviour will affect their partner. This knowledge leads them to solve out the conflict in a soothing manner. Kamma Matrimony suggests that kamma brides and kamma groom should take this thing seriously.

2. tracking

all individuals are getting affected by their past experiences and this affects their present and future also. Successful partners remember those thoughts and experiences and track them as well. They mark and unite them in a constructive way so that their past experiences or conflicts never affect their present relationship and make them understand each other better.

3. transparency:

Partners should share their internal experiences, day to day life with each other. They should not hold back their thoughts, feelings that might at some time affect the other partner. Although in the meeting between kamma bride and kamma groom held by kamma matrimony, we suggest that both partners should not hide anything from each other, it is also important that after marriage you both partners should know the truth behind any fact, no matter what the outcome.

4. Rejuvenate:

It does not matter how long people have been together, but the quality of time, energy and fresh love matters. So, the kamma matches should make your relationship in such a way that you both rejuvenate, not simply maintain the relationship.

5. Traumas

Everyone experienced traumatic conditions in their life. But emotional trauma is more pathetic than bodily trauma. People who love each other always keep in mind that never break the trust so that any partner get hurt and also never discuss it further in the conflicts.

6. Communication:

There are two important ways of communication. First one is the verbal communication in which partners share their feeling by words and the second one is a non-verbal way in which they present themselves. The partners who communicate efficiently, never forget that what they are saying and how it will affect the other person. Like communication plays an important role in binding a relationship between the kamma bride and kamma groom, after marriage, it has much more importance.

7. Recognition and response:

Everyone wants to know their importance in the person’s life to whom they love. They need a person with whom they can share their ups and downs, want to feel safe in that place, able to understand that one person is always with them to share their achievements as well as failures. So, it is good to make feel each other how important he/she is. Accept the recognition and response to their love.   

8. Focus more on positive things:

Every relationship has its own assets and liabilities. But often partners focus more on what upsets them rather than the benefits of their relationship. In any way, when you feel that your relationship is shattering, try to remember to happy days of togetherness, remind that why you both are together and resolve the problem as soon as possible. The kamma bride and kamma groom should ask themselves that’s why they choose each other from thousands of other kamma Community grooms or kamma brides. It will remind you how compatible and perfect you both are being together.

9. stability:

Whenever one partner is speaking the truth, the other one should support his/her point of view. Successful partners want to know each other’s view, thinking, feeling and make them feel comfortable to share their experiences.

10. Trust in each other and the relationship:

Successful partners always believe that they are lucky to have ache other and try to make their relationship true and unique. Trust is based on commitment, they understand this thing and do according to it.

Wrong things:

1. Don’t Try To “Win” A Fight

If your main goal is to “win” the fight, you’ve already lost, maybe not in the fight but in the relationship. “Winning” means dominating the other person. That is not the way to treat someone like this you love. The ultimate “winner” should be the relationship. In a healthy relationship, you should feel that you both are in the same team if anyone loses then, it is the loss of the relationship. Both of you deserve to be matured and understood the fact carefully and resolve them. So, never want to win the argument.

2.  Never raise your voice:

In the heat of the fighting moment, when emotions are running very fastly in the mind, it is hard to control the volume level. But it only can make the situation worse. It can feel great to throw out some hate and aggression from your body, but it may come at a high cost later. It will leave bruises and injuries for a long time even after your continuous apology. Take a break and get normal and then start the discussion again. Keep your discussion at a calm voice.

3. don’t bring up the past things:

The longer time you both have stayed together, the more emotional moments your relationship may have. But to keep your fight normal, avoid bringing your past problems baggage at present. Try to stay in present only. The past things act as fuel to the fight.  This leads the arguments to a worse stage. Although you both (kamma bride and kamma grooms) had discussed past things previously in the meetings arranged by kamma matrimony, but never bring these things to present.

4. Never argue at bad times:

There is never really a good time to fight with your partner, but never bring up serious topics at bad times like when you both are in bed or when one of you is already stressed. You should wait for a time when you both are in clear-mind, well rested and not in the stressed mood to discuss any serious topic. Then you both can see the things clearly and you both can come to a conclusion after so many odds.

5. Observing Ego:

You should not get so lost in the moment of a conflict that you can’t watch your own words what are you saying. An observing Ego is just a part of us which helps to aware of what we are going to do. Take a deep breath and take some time.

6. Let your partner say first.

Understand the view of your partner and then give your view regarding the discussion. Listen carefully what hurt them so seriously and try to understand their perspective also.  

7. Don’t pick a new fight.

Stick with the first fight and resolve it first. It normally happens to get distracted and start picking another new fight. If this happens regularly, take a deep breath and let it go. Resolve the primary issue first, then another one.

8. Say sorry as often as you can.

You can apologize and say sorry for those parts of the fight you are responsible for and also for the things which are unintentional. It doesn’t mean that everything is your fault only, but it means that you give more importance to the relationship than the fight.
Partners (kamma brides and kamma community grooms) who value and respect each other willingly and continuously embrace these wright things and avoid these wrong things. It is not necessary that you should achieve perfection in following them but you should try and realize how important it is to apply these behaviours as part of the commitment they have made to each other.

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